99 Reasons to Hate Cats

99 Reasons to Hate Cats - Tom Briscoe I looked up from my writing to find my three cats, Maslow, Fanci, and Ashley staring at me. Fanci had a small book in her mouth while the other two were looking at me like I filled their food bowl with broccoli.

"Why do you hate us?" asked Maslow.

I was stunned. "Hate you. I don't hate you. You're my Buddies"

Fanci dropped the book on the rug. "Then why do you have this book?"

I picked it up. It was 99 Reasons to Hate Cats by cartoonist Tom Brice. I breathed a sigh of relief. "That a humor book."

Ashley looked perplexed. "It's funny to hate cats?"

"No, of course not. Look. The writer clearly likes cats. He is just pointing out the strange things you cats do in spite of how much we like you.

"Like what?"

Well, for instance the mess you make in the litter box."

"You would rather we make a mess somewhere else like the sofa".

"Good point. But how about leaving dead birds at my feet as gifts? Or howling at night? Or shedding fur on my suit just before I go to work?

Fanci smirked. "If we do so many annoying things, why do you love us?"

I thought for a minute. "Because you three cats are kind of cool in an ironic way."

They liked that. Maslow replied, "OK then. Even though we cats don't do irony we'll let this slide."

I smiled. "That's generous of you. Why are you three being so forgiving?

They looked at each other and in unison yelled "BECAUSE IT"S DINNER TIME!" and ran into the kitchen.

Maybe I should think about filling their food bowls with broccoli.