To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee Image and video hosting by TinyPic


This "Review" was originally written for the Celebrity Death Match Review Tournament

The bout begins.

The opponents: Huckleberry Finn vs. Scout Finch.

Due to Huckleberry Finn's considerable advantage in size and experience, Scout is given the choice of venue and rules. She chooses the streets of Maycomb, Alabama and the rules of the Third Grade Playground.

The round starts with a surprise as Scout rushes headlong into Huck. No one expected such a direct assault from the tiny Scout. But inches before crashing into Huck she swerves, comes behind him, and gives him a monster wedgie. Huck's yelp is two octaves higher than usual. It takes him a few seconds to recover but he grabs Scout's head and proceeds to give her a few dozen noogies. As he looks around for an ink well to dip her hair into, Scout wiggles out of his hold and sticks her tongue out at him.

Huck continues to attack her but she easily evades every attempt. While Huck has the strength advantage, it is clear Scout is quicker. She has reverted to a "Rope-A-Dope" strategy, hoping to wear out Huck to the point of exhaustion. She begins to taunt him.

"Hey Huck. You from the Show-Me State? You ain't shown me much!"

Scout's "Rope-a-Dope" is clearly working. But in the midst of a clever "Your daddy's so drunk" routine, she is shoved from behind. Tom Sawyer has entered the street and pushed her down. Scout goes to the referee to demand a penalty for illegal interference.

The referee shows her section 98056.01(4) of the Third Grade Playground Rulebook that states interference by a player's homie is acceptable.

Scout is thrown off, expecting another attack by Tom. All of a sudden she puts her two fingers in her mouth and whistles. Out of a nearby house comes Boo Radley. He grabs Tom under the right arm, Huck under the left arm, and smashes their heads together. They go out cold.

The referee raises Scout's arm in victory: To Kill a Mockingbird by two knock-outs!