The Jewel of Seven Stars - Bram Stoker Yes, I know Bram Stoker is a god among the horror writers. Dracula is deservedly a classic if only for its vast influence. The Jewel of Seven Stars is considered the first modern mummy novel just as Dracula set the stage for every vampire novel to follow.

But I gotta say it.

Bram Stoker can't write worth beans.

I find the dialogue in this novel especially excruciating; stiff and sometimes unintentionally hilarious. The plot drags like a corpse in a body bag and the characterizations are cardboard and boring. OK, so I didn't like this. I can appreciate its role in the annals of horror fiction but if I ever have to read this again, I'm going to do the Egyptian in double time right outta here.