Written for the Celebrity Death Match Review TournamentThe Annotated Alice versus 1984
Alice looked around at the gray drab buildings.
"I must have wandered off the path. This is nothing like anything I've ever seen before in Wonderland. "
The city was devoid of people. Occasionally a siren would blare but there were no human and animal sounds. A poster of a intimidating man with the words BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU was on practically every wall.
"Interesting" said Alice, "It looks a little like my Uncle Oswald".
She came upon a large building with the words WAR IS PEACE.
"Curiouser and Curiouser" she said.
Then another building acclaiming that FREEDOM IS SLAVERY.
"I think I should return with a good English dictionary'
Then a third imposing structure with the words IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.
"I'm not sure if i like this city. Where is the Cheshire Cat when I need him?"
Alice entered the building and found a corridor with a series of doors. She was most intrigued with the door marked Room 101 which had a sign attached stating, "Inside this room is what you fear the most."
Alice thought, "I'm not sure what that would be. I've fallen through deep holes and survived. I've been bossed around by white rabbits. I almost got my head cut off by the Red Queen. I've even changed sizes more often than Oprah. I'm not sure what else I need fear.
She entered the room. The door closed behind her. It was barren except for a simple table. An older woman sat at the table. She looked up at Alice and smiled.
"Why, sit down Alice. I've been expecting you. We decided that this Wonderland nonsense is a little silly for a young woman like yourself, I will be teaching you the proper etiquette for an English lady. My name is Mrs, Beeton and we'll start with learning how to make a proper Yorkshire Pudding."
Alice screamed. But there was no one in the vast city to hear it.
Win for 1984
