The Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas,  Robin Buss Written for the Celebrity Death Match Review Tournament

Bout: The Count of Monte Cristo vs. Catch-22

Edmond Dantes: Welcome Yossarian to the Island of Monte Cristo, I challenge you to the Celebrity Death Match. I will taunt you and torment you. I will box your ears. I will draw my sword and...

Yossarian: Just wait a minute, Count! This is crazy, No,,,This is sane...To say it's crazy would be sane...oh. never mind. I really don't want to do this. Can't we just get along? I'd rather be bombing fish or something.

Edmontes Dantes: Really? In that case, go on your way sir!

Yossarian jumps into the sea and swims to shore.

Dantes: Wimp!